ROFL of the Week: No red dye for Pegasus

From a post entitled “Flower Hummingbird” at a bogus Google-baiting site on attracting birds:

I wrote about where to place your hummingbirdfeeders to get the most traffic and where to put them to maintain the Hummers Bully, the ruby-throated hummingbird, to be the only hummingbird to drink with your Hummingbird feeders. These suggestions will provide more traffic and maybe even a little less intimidating.

Nectar hummingbird as Hummers go to the first is natural, the sweet nectar of flowering plants such as Columbine, impatiens, geraniums and more. This gives nectar the bird a high which is the largest sugar before making their journey across the Gulf of Mexico.

Although there has been no testing done on the effects of dyeing on birds, please do not use red food coloring in the solution you use to feed your horses, this could affect your Swift winged wonders.

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Something in the air

It’s that time of year again (with apologies to Thunderclap Newman):

Break out the box of tissues
Because there’s something in the air
We’ve got to get some medicated inhalers
Because the pollination’s here
And my nose ain’t right
And my nose just ain’t right

We have got to get decongestants
We have got to get decongestants
Now

Close up the doors and windows
Because there’s something in the air
We’ve got to change the air conditioner filter
Because the sporulation’s here
And my nose ain’t right
And my nose just ain’t right

We have got to get decongestants
We have got to get decongestants
Now

Call up the doctor’s office
Before we sink into despair
We’ve got to get some antihistamines in us
Because the pollination’s here
And my nose ain’t right
And my nose just ain’t right

We have got to get decongestants
We have got to get decongestants
NOW

“The first thing you should do, boys, is to join the inventory of male Hummingbird…”

I’ve got a daily Google Alert that notifies me about news articles and blog posts containing the word “hummingbird,” and last week they were all about the new series My Own Worst Enemy. In case you didn’t watch and haven’t heard, the plot involved an apparently fictional technique for marital bliss. Naturally, this created a buzz in the blogosphere and an opportunity for bait-and-switch by unscrupulous bloggers. Google dutifully reported all of these to me, and I deleted them all…until I came to an entry with an intriguing opening:

As you know, male Hummingbirds do not take part nesting. Most species make a cup-shaped nest on the branches of trees or shrubs. Two white eggs, which are defined, although the smallest of all birds, eggs are very large in comparison to …

Hmm…that reads almost like a straightforward (if somewhat garbled) summary of hummingbird reproductive behavior, doesn’t it? Not what one would expect from the post’s racy title. Curiosity got the better of me, so I clicked the link expecting to see a bunch of Google ads wrapped around some bland hummingbird content stolen from another site.

The accompanying photos are almost certainly used without permission, and the text might be as well, but it looks like it was written in some language other than English and run back and forth through Babel Fish before being pasted into the blog post. Trust me – it’s not graphic, just charmingly bizarre. The site appears legit, too, so read it now before the Councillor Watch blogmaster takes it down.

Ms. Malaprop, Network News Anchor

I love malaprops. Make ’em myself sometimes (and not always deliberately). But I’m not a network news personality.

On this morning’s installment of Today on NBC, a perky young host (I don’t keep up with them), stated that parental rivalries leave many men “exacerbated.”

It made my morning…well, that and a gorgeous male Rufous Hummingbird defending our feeders. He’s been here for a couple of days (I’ve been hearing that sinister-sounding wing zing), but this is the first I’ve seen him. Better check him for a band—it was exactly a year ago that we did our Extreme Hummingbird Makeover on a young male Rufous.