I am so excited that I came across your item on trade site,I am
interested in purchasing them from you.Let me know if the item is still
available and how much discounts you are willing to give?I will await your
advise on how to proceed.Have a wonderful day. please kindly send me an
email to my private email account (firstname.lastname@example.org)
Anticipating your urgent response. Thank you.
Sincerely Mark Shoemake
Daxisa Company Plc
4 Chapel row
Ayrshire Scotland UK Scotland
Ayrshire 4 Chapel Row, Dalmellington
Dear Mr. Shoemake:
And we are so excited that you have contacted us. The item in question is still available at US$17,452.06. Since the item is one of a kind, a discount of 2% is available only if the buyer agrees to a period of indentured servitude of no less than three (3) years. Payment in person is required, and we accept cash, all major credit cards, bank drafts, strands of shiny beads, pounds of flesh, or heads of cattle (just the heads – no bodies, please). Apologies, but we no longer accept PayPal. We do not provide shipping, and due to the extreme sensitivity of the item we will not deal with third parties unless the buyer is present at the transaction and all parties are naked (shower sandals are permitted, but only in fuchsia to avoid antagonizing the item).
To proceed with your order, please provide home address, business phone number, home phone number, mobile number, payment tender preference, bank name, exact name as it appears on the account, account and routing numbers, mother’s maiden name, father’s maiden name, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, boxers/briefs preference, and date you plan to travel to the U.S. to accept delivery of the item.
Salome P. Quincepickle, Curator
Museum of the Sphincter