moar funny pictures

Cool news from LiveScience:

“Nanostructures preserved in feather fossils more than 40 million years old show evidence that those feathers were once vivid and iridescent in color, paleontologists say.”

Read the article…

*facepalm*
Originally uploaded to Flickr by
Leo Reynolds

When you think it can’t get any worse, along comes:

AllSands: End Hummingbird Poisoning And Feeder Mess

Some particularly facepalm-worthy excerpts, now with comments:

Red, plastic, hanging, “Hummingbird Feeders” in our backyards are a way to attract hummingbirds; but they are a mistake!

Excessive commas, inappropriate semicolon, unnecessary quotation marks, and Winnie-the-Pooh Capitalization—a very poor start indeed.

Then there is the time consuming process of making the right mix of boiled water and scoops of sugar to duplicate local “flower nectar” to attract the most native hummingbirds to your feeder.

The “right mix” of sugar and water is exactly the same everywhere: 1 part white sugar, 3 to 5 parts water, combine and stir until dissolved. Boiling is unnecessary, though the sugar will dissolve more quickly if the solution is briefly microwaved or brought to a boil on the stove top. If it takes more than 10 minutes, even starting with cold water, you’re overdoing it.

What’s with “the most native hummingbirds”? Is the author trying to imply that some hummingbirds are more native than others, or that if you get the recipe wrong you might attract (presumably undesirable) non-native hummingbirds?

Add the unnecessary quotation marks and missing hyphen where one is actually needed (see below), and you’ve got fractal fail. With all that time saved by not making sugar water, perhaps the anonymous author will find time to read a book on hummingbirds. Or remedial English.

It is not that uncommon to see Hum-birds literally drop out of the sky – when they run out of fuel. If the fall doesn’t break anything critical, one can usually nurse them back to health with a nose drops of warm sugar water within 8 hours; but they’ll die within hours – if poisoned by a filthy Feeder.

Yes, it is extremely uncommon to see one “drop out of the sky.” No, they don’t “die within hours” from dirty feeders. Where did the author dig up this garbage?

“Hum-birds,” “a nose drops,” inappropriate hyphens, more W-t-P Caps, and tortured sentence structure are giving me a headache.

Their wings rotate 180 degrees, like a helicopter…

Since helicopters’ rotors rotate 360 degrees, I’d say the author has stretched this common analogy past the breaking point.

Since most of their energy comes from flower blossom’s nectar, their relatively short lives (3-5 years) are spent like farm workers following the annual flowering schedule over 500 miles from where you are to Mexico – during the winter.

Their lives are relatively long for such small creatures. In the best-known hummingbird species, average life span is 3 to 5 years, but maximum documented ages range from 8 to 12 years. This exceeds the documented longevity of many larger birds and small mammals.

Most of the world’s hummingbirds don’t migrate. Not all hummingbirds that breed north of Mexico go south to Mexico and/or Central America for the winter, and most of those that do have to travel more than 1000 miles to reach safe winter havens.

Was the article originally written for a regional audience who were all assumed to be more than (or is it exactly?) 500 miles from Mexico and/or the wintering grounds of some species of hummingbird?

Confused sentence structure compounded by redundancy (flower = blossom), an incorrect and unnecessary possessive, and another useless hyphen.

Joe Hummingbird has to nest in North America – where nesting spots are less crowded than in Mexico during the summer. So to successfully mate, he has to be the first one in your neighborhood to find the best nesting spots to attract a “soul mate”.

What species is “Joe” anyway?

Mexico is in North America (even though field guide publishers like to pretend it isn’t).

“Joe” doesn’t nest (male hummingbirds are deadbeat dads), and he doesn’t have to be the first to establish a territory to have mating opportunities.

Since when does “soul mate” apply to the avian equivalent of a one-night stand?

Extra fail points for bad punctuation, but the split infinitive gets a pass.

However, if Joe arrives in your neighborhood before the flowers bloom he’ll perish before mating.

No, he won’t. Early-migrating hummingbirds can survive by stealing sweet, nutritious sap from sapsucker wells.

Anyway, Nature has given Joe the uncanny ability to memorize “Territorial” maps; according to a recent study by University of Arizona researcher Dr. William Calder.

The late William A. Calder III, one of the world’s foremost hummingbird experts, studied many aspects of hummingbird biology and behavior, but nothing that could be described as “territorial maps” (whatever that means).

When Joe arrives in your neighborhood and he finds that perfect “love nest”; he’ll perch in a near by tree around a Hummingbird Feeder or sugar-rich flower garden. Joe will literally defend this ideal spot with his life. However, Joe will drain all the nectar-rich flowers surrounding his territory – morning and evening – to keep all other males moving on to find another good food source! This “Sugar-Dry Zone” helps Joe keep other males out of his perfect spot below his perch and within eye surveillance!

Hummingbirds don’t fight to the death, at least not intentionally. Dead hummingbirds can’t mate, and that’s the whole point of this kind of territoriality.

“Sugar-Dry Zone”??

Extra fail points for misspelling, inappropriate semicolon, more W-t-P Caps, “love nest,” and “eye surveillance.”

There’s more, but I can’t bear to go on. On the positive side, at least the writer got the part about red dye right. We can only hope he/she doesn’t get a book contract, because the world has more than enough bad books on hummingbirds.

A modern haiku inspired by yesterday’s Hummingbird Field Clinic:

Summer sun reveals
dark continents adrift in
seas of boiling lava

Stumbled onto this gem in a craft club newsletter:

Kathy H. resigned from being our Liberian.

From an Indian “blog” advertising (among other things) hummingbird feeders:

Hummingbirds are beautiful birds that have been adored since ancient times hummingbirds return from wintering in Central and South America. They are very rear species and look very beautiful. This beautiful bird is short lived only for an year.

Whoop whoop whoop! Phil Plait of Bad Astronomy just posted the best entertainment news I’ve heard in months: Futurama is coming back!

Sure, there’s skepticism that creators Matt Groening and David X. Cohen can produce new episodes that live up to the standards of the original, but even if they can’t the new episodes are likely to be funnier than almost anything on TV other than Futurama reruns. And The Simpsons, of course.

A couple of my favorite Futurama quotes of all time:

Look, I don’t know if shooting penguins will help the environment or not. But I do know the decision shouldn’t be in the hands of people who just wanna kill for fun.

— Leela, The Birdbot of Ice-Catraz

By the way, I took the liberty of fertilizing your caviar.

— Dr. Zoidberg, Where the Buggalo Roam

GrrlScientist posted a couple of photos of cultivated dahlias in Manhattan (one so pink it hurts my eyes), so I though I’d post photos of some relatives of this and other garden ornamentals that grow wild in the Sierra Madre Occidental of western Chihuahua.

Wild Dahlia, D. sherffii, Madera, Chihuahua

Begonia gracilis (?), Madera Chihuahua

Salvia sp., Madera, Chihuahua

Mexican Shell-flower, Tigridia pavonia, Ejido El Largo, Chihuahua

Wild poinsettia, Euphorbia sp., Madera, Chihuahua

Just a quick response to whoever is searching for information on whether the sugar water in feeders causes diabetes in hummingbirds. Sugar doesn’t cause diabetes in people, either, but most of us eat way more of it than big sluggish mammals should. This contributes to obesity, which is a significant risk factor for developing type 2 diabetes.

It’s wildlife baby season over much of North America, a time when people with big hearts and inadequate information sentence untold thousands of young wild birds and mammals to needless suffering and death. Inappropriate diet is a major killer, resulting in stunted growth, rubbery bones, and feathers that break as they mature (if they mature at all). The greatest tragedy is that many of these “orphans” never needed intervention in the first place.

Violet-crowned Hummingbird on nest

Hummingbirds are frequent victims of misplaced concern. Female hummingbirds spend large amounts of time sitting on their nests during the first three to four weeks of the nesting cycle, incubating the eggs and brooding the tiny, featherless chicks. The nestlings need this near-constant attention at first because they are “cold-blooded” (poikilothermic) at hatching and require their mother’s body heat to live and grow.

Once the nestlings’ pinfeathers break open and expand into an insulating coat of true feathers, their metabolism is ready to switch to “warm-blooded” (homeothermic) mode. At this point, 10 to 12 days after hatching, the mother no longer needs to brood them to keep them warm, even at night. To avoid attracting the attention of predators, she stays away from the nest entirely except for the few seconds it takes to feed them. These visits occur at intervals ranging from less than ten minutes to more than an hour and a half.

This is a critical time for hummingbird nests with a human audience. Observers unaware that this dramatic change in the mother’s behavior is part of the normal nesting cycle may miss the short feeding visits and think that the nestlings have been orphaned or abandoned. Panicked calls to nature centers, zoos, Audubon societies, and bird observatories often go something like this: “I’ve been watching a hummingbird nest and the mother hasn’t been back for two days and I’m afraid the babies are going to starve to death!” (If mama hadn’t been back for two days, the nestlings would already be dead.)

To keep these youngsters out in the wild where they belong and make sure that hummingbirds in genuine peril have the best chance for survival, Project Wildlife in San Diego has published guidelines on when and how to rescue young hummingbirds. Here is an abridged version of PW’s expert advice:

Black-chinned Hummingbird hatchling

Hatchling Hummingbirds
(0-9 days)

IF YOU FIND A HATCHLING HUMMINGBIRD [gray/black, skin naked or covered in quill-like pinfeathers], DO NOT ATTEMPT TO FEED IT! GET HELP IMMEDIATELY.

♦ Try to keep the baby in the nest if possible.

♦ If not, line a plastic margarine cup with tissue and keep the baby warm (this is essential) by placing it under a gooseneck lamp about 5 inches away from the bulb.

♦ Do not overheat the bird. If it starts open-mouth breathing or its neck is outstretched, it is too hot. Overheating can kill the bird.

♦ Keep the baby warmed to an outside temperature—between 85—90 degrees.

Black-chinned Hummingbird nestlings

Nestling Hummingbirds (10-15 days)

PLEASE WATCH THE NEST CONTINUOUSLY FOR ONE HOUR FOR THE RETURN OF THE MOTHER. [I'd recommend lengthening this to two hours.] She will fly in to feed them, which takes only 3-5 seconds, 4-6 times an hour. In our experience, mother hummingbirds normally do not abandon their young unless something has happened to the female.

Baby hummingbirds use silence in the nest as a defense against predators. If the babies are vocalizing by constantly “peeping” for more than 10 -15 minutes they are in trouble (starving) and need help immediately. Silent babies are usually healthy babies!

♦ If they have fallen out of the nest, gently pick them up, check to be sure there are no injuries and carefully place them back in the nest. Once again watch for mom’s return. (Always check the nest first for ants or other insects that may be attacking the babies). If there is a problem with insects, an artificial nest can be constructed.

♦ After placing them back in the nest, it’s important to watch and see that the female continues to feed her young .

♦ If, after monitoring the nest site, it has been determined that the babies are actually abandoned and have to be rescued and readily open their mouth, CAREFULLY drop three drops of sugar water (see adult recipe) into their mouth. Sugar water accidentally dripped onto feathers must be completely wiped off immediately.

♦ If the babies do not open their mouths, gently guide the birds’ beak into the tip of an eyedropper or syringe full of sugar water for feeding.

♦ Offer sugar water every 30 minutes until help can be obtained.

♦ Do not feed sugar water or “nectar” longer than 72 hours.

Black-chinned Hummingbird pre-fledglings

Pre-Fledglings
(16-21 days)

Pre–fledgling hummingbirds are fully feathered, have very short, stubby tail feathers and a bill less than 1/2 inch long. They are most often found on the ground. Once again, if you know where the nest is, please put them back and watch for mom’s return.

♦ After placing them back in the nest, it’s important to watch and see that the female continues to feed her young.

♦ If they need to be rescued and open their mouth readily, CAREFULLY drop 5 drops of sugar water into their mouth. Sugar water accidentally dripped onto feathers must be completely wiped off immediately.

♦ If the babies do not open their mouths, gently guide the birds beak into the tip of an eyedropper or syringe full of sugar water for feeding.

♦ Feed every 30 minutes until help can be obtained.

♦ Do not feed sugar water or “nectar” longer than 72 hours.

You can read the entire Hummer Hints handout (PDF) at the Project Wildlife Web site.

A few minutes may mean the difference between life and death for a wild creature in trouble, so right now—before you have a wildlife emergency—contact your state wildlife/natural resources agency, local animal control agency or nature center*, or the National Wildlife Rehabilitators Association for the name and phone number of a wildlife rescue organization or independent wildlife rehabilitator in your area, or use this state-by-state directory (which may not be entirely up-to-date—try contacting the person or organization to make sure the listing is accurate). Keep the name and number by the phone so that you can get help as quickly as possible should the need arise.

* Normally I would recommend humane societies and zoos as resources, but not after what happened to the Wisconsin Mango.